he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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