then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
