Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
