Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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