I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
