But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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