i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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