i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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