was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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