Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We have started to decorate penises.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
