She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
