I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize