So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
