OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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