I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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