He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
