Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
