Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
