Buhtt sex?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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