wat bout pragnant strippers??
Welp...herpes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize