And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
