Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The uberlube is also flammable
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
