It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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