Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
