The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
