i dedicated my morning wood to you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
