so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
