apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize