remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
