this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
