I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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