you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize