Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
