dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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