the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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