I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
