I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
