So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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