after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
