Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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