she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
