his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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