i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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