My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
