Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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