Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm always down for nudity.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
