I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My vagina is very pro this idea
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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