my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize