And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
