you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
