ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
