you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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