Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize