Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
