Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
