Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
