Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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