that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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