That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
