found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
