Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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