THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
