I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
