Just fell off a train. Bad.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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