there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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