I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize