Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
