STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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