How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
