i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
