I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
